My Sweet Boy

This is, yes, a picture of Michael sleeping on the landing. We "discovered" him when we finally went upstairs after a long conversation on what to do about the offer we got on our house. (We got a very low offer last week, made a counter-offer knowing they might reject it which they did, so back to the house-selling process). I wonder if sleeping on landings is a genetic trait - I used to do this when I was a toddler, although I don't remember it. Sometimes we just need to be closer to our parents. He didn't even wake up when I carried him back to bed.

Why I Do What I Do...

I left the hospital last night feeling I had been trying to fill up a bathtub with an eye-dropper. The start of clinicals each semester is daunting - take 8 students who don't have a lot of knowledge yet and throw them in with complex, ill, hurting patients. They are just starting to discover what nursing REALLY IS (a verbatim comment: "Wow, being a nurse is really hard work."). How on earth do I teach them how to do symptom management, communicate sensitively and empathetically, truly understand what cancer is, how we treat it, how to prevent and/or treat all the side effects of nasty treatment, and help patients and their families through this fight-of-a-lifetime?

I'm hoping to do my independent project for my master's on students in the oncology setting. How do we successfully prepare nurses to care for people with cancer in a variety of settings - not only hospital, but in the community and those who are now survivors or facing the end of life? That's an extremely broad question, and I'll be narrowing it down much further, though a daunting process as well (1st part due next Friday!). So I've been mulling over these things, and came across the obituary of a young girl in our community who passed away from cancer this week. She wrote her own obit, and at the end she thanked her doctors and nurses for helping her. But she asked that we continue to find a way so that no child have to die of cancer as she did. Even though I don't know how to stop cancer in its tracks, I do know how to be present, how to care, how to perform the necessary skills as we gain new tools. And if I can pass on this knowledge to our future nurses, maybe they eventually will be the ones who will find the treatments so no more children, friends, parents, siblings, die of cancer. So I will take my eye-dropper along next week and fill up that bathtub one drop at a time.

What Cancer Cannot Do

It cannot cripple Love

It cannot shatter Hope

It cannot corrode Faith

It cannot destroy Peace

It cannot kill Friendship

It cannot suppress Memories

It cannot silence Courage

It cannot invade the Soul

It cannot steal Eternal Life

It cannot conquer the Spirit.

-Author Unknown

Random Thoughts and Photos

I'm letting myself blog a little as a reward for finishing reading and critically thinking about three articles on evidence-based nursing (AT LAST! let's no longer teach baccalaureate and nurse education students how to put together a randomized controlled trial, but to actually USE results of research in clinical practice!). Oh, school. I ought to be grateful for the chance to further my education. I would rather complain about how I spent close to 6 hours doing tech support to try to get a 12 minute recorded audio lecture to play on my computer. It should be an interesting semester - my clinical group is very diverse. I have LPN-BSN students in my group for the first time. A bit nervous about being able to help them have a good clinical experience without doubling up on their previous learning.

Michael has been playing really hard this past week. He's finally feeling a bit better. He had a three-week cold/flu that just wouldn't let go, so we went to the doctor earlier this week. Turns out he had infections in both ears. Normally I don't like using antibiotics, but when he kept telling me about how much his ears hurt (this kid normally doesn't complain about feeling bad - just keeps going), we decided to fill the prescription. So the cough is relenting at last and he's catching up on playtime that was spent sneezing and going through numerous boxes of tissues. Michael loves to pretend - we read a book about police officers, so he has been pretending police for the past couple days. Turns out I was a robber, so I needed to be put in handcuffs and taken to jail, given a sentence of "25 minutes". I think my son is a democrat, though, because I was released after I whined a bit about how unfair it was because I was a mom and I really needed to go make supper. After I was released, I was given a trophy! Sigh - I know the dems are after the younger demographic, but really?

Uploaded pictures from the camera - most are from Christmas, but a few are just random shots of the people I love.

Dad got a toilet mug for Christmas! He loved it.

Michael likes his new lace-up cards. I used to do these when I was a kid.

Michael with Daddy on Christmas eve. My favorite boys.

Michael helping decorate the Christmas tree - our scrawny tree is looking worse each year, but it is a nice size for a three-year old to help decorate!

In other news, Matt is working hard this weekend. Guess busy season has officially begun. It's nice he can work from home some, especially on the weekends. At least we get to see his face. Also helps with the weather and gas budget. We had 5 inches of snow yesterday. They haven't said too much yet, but my gut feeling is that NOAA and the weather people are going to be forecasting major flooding again this spring. Fargo already has the average winter's amount of snow and it's only the middle of January.

Well, time to accomplish some other things. More later!

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to all you out there! We rang in the new year with a blizzard - I was at work, watching all the loaders and plows make huge piles of snow, Matt and Michael were at home taking it easy. I cleaned out my car when I returned home on Sunday morning, and was astounded by how much snow had blown into each little crevice, and even into my trunk! We didn't get nearly as much snow (nor ice, thankfully) as some did south of us, but the wind was amazing. There's nothing quite like feeling the house quiver a bit with the huge gusts. I'm not making any new year resolutions this year, but some things are in the back of my mind to work on (and not necessarily in this order):
-Exercising more frequently
-Getting to daily Mass
-Complaining less
-Expressing thanks more
-Putting the needs of my husband and son ahead of my own more often
-Not stressing out about school and work
-Planning out meals for the week EVERY week!

It's the last week before school starts. I'm determined to stuff in as much as possible of the things I never get done during school; namely, reading (something besides textbooks), cleaning (those put-off things like cupboards and the basement), time with friends, and thank-you notes.

Michael has been liking having Mom and Dad home more than usual. It's been fun to watch him explore new things and do some learning here and there (telling time - he wants to learn so badly; sounds - lots of a-a-apple, b-b-ball, etc.). Matt's busy season starts soon, but we certainly have enjoyed the lull before the storm! We celebrated our 7th anniversary last month - it was a lovely day to contemplate and rejoice the grace of having Matt as my husband. He is a blessing to me every day - I love you, Honey!