Wimping Awong

I'm a wimp, a big one. Only got two kids, the means to survive (and comfortably at that), and an existence that the ancients would have greatly coveted. Yet I'm tired and anxious. I had the summer all planned out in my mind - work a little less, garden a little more, and spend a lot more quality time with the kids. Work harder on figuring out school for the Growing Boy and just be all around a more loving and charitable mom and wife. So much for all that. I did work less and tried to garden more (the weather had different plans). But in terms of parenthood and wifehood, in metaphorical terms, my gluteus maximus has been struck forcibly with the calcaneus, tarsals, and associated bones and ligaments. What happened? Not really sure - it just all went south and hasn't recovered. But I whine - because I'm a wimp. Here's the Top 10 Pep Talk for me and any other mom out there who is also a wimp (not any of you who would read this, I know).

#1 I have awesome kids. 

The problem is I really suck at this parenting thing. Kids are kids - they do kid things. Why is it so hard to be patient with kid stuff? Why can't we just be content with living in the present moment, saying to "far, far, far south and very warm" with keeping a tidy/organized existence and be like those crazy-but-cool unschooling people? I'm not really a crier, but have been close to or in tears pretty much every Friday as I plan out school for my Boy. There's not enough time, he doesn't have enough patience, I don't have enough patience to help him develop patience, and there's just too damn much to teach and learn. I honestly would just give up and send him to school, but he keeps saying how much he loves being at home and how much he's learning and I know he IS learning and that this is what we are supposed to be doing right now. It's just a real struggle at the present (because I'm crazy) and I know we'll get through it eventually. This last week was a little better than the previous first weeks of the year, so hoping things will improve and we'll hit our stride at some point here.

#2 - I have normal kids. 

The reason they are both looking at the camera and smiling is because this was the 10th picture I took and his hands are up in the air because right before I snapped the photo he was holding his hands around her head to make her look at the camera. This was during the Epic Bike Ride When Dad Was Gone And Mom Tortured Them. 

My kids are normal. They are people. They have faults and quirks and they live with us so they have acquired many of our bad habits. Parenting is not a math equation - I can't put in the variables of consistent parenting, quality discipline, and abundant love, and come up with a perfect child at all times. (My parents were really good at that and look how I turned out. Case is rested.) This doesn't mean I get to throw up my hands and leave it all to fate, either, but when we are all barking at each other and no one is happy and I think, "we were meant for something better than this!", we are - it's just that we are on the journey to it and the arrival may be on the other side of eternity (post a huge amount of purification). 

#3 Making pickle relish is rarely a priority. But sometimes you still do it.

What to do with giant pickling cucumbers? Make relish, of course. This was the experimental canning for the year and I think it turned out. A lot of the frustration from the last few months has been the disconnect between what I planned/expected and the actual implementation. I envisioned blissful days at the splash pad and picnics in the park, play dates with friends (maybe actually making some friends or spending time with the few friends who put up with my quirks), being fit and eating healthy, pampering the yard and the house, and doing all those things I haven't had time for during the school year. Then August rolled around and I realized we'd done pretty much none of the above. We did do a lot this summer, but not much of it fit into the schema above, and of course I've been blaming myself (some of it rightfully so, the rest, it just was...) - if I was more organized, if I prayed more, if I got a personality transplant, etc., etc., etc.

#4 There is one, very, very good reason to have paneling in your basement.

Dear Hubby went south to be with a family member who was having a significant surgery. We were so glad he was able to go and be there. But what is it about the universe that it instantly knows when Dad is gone? Life with Dad around. And then the universe takes notice, "Oh, Dad is not here. All contingencies have been accounted for." What happens: Life when Dad is away. 

OK, OK, it wasn't that bad. Really, it all just makes me throw up my hands and laugh. And at least we discovered the yellow jacket nests IN the house after he got back! At the end of his trip, I was mowing lawn and saw a place where yellow jackets were going into a gap between the foundation and the siding. An exterminator came and powdered the area, and DH sealed up the hole (as he recommended) when he got home a couple days later. Then we started finding yellow jackets in the house. Turns out we had not one but two large nests - one in the storage area of The Boy's room and one inside the block foundation where the split level splits (behind the area where the exterminator had treated). And yes Dear Hubby had to remove most of the paneling from an entire wall before we found exactly where. We spent an entire day in the basement watching the walls and trying to see where they were coming in - I killed over 100 yellow jackets with my fly swatter over the course of a morning and afternoon, but the moral of the story was that a watched wall never wasps. We also got to clean up mold since the storage area had water damage that we hadn't discovered because we are such wonderful and responsible homeowners. I realize people have real problems and this probably doesn't count as one, but again, wimp - not a fan of sharing my home with hundreds of yellow jackets. And mold.

 #5 You can't keep it from raining.

We have had an insane amount of rain this summer. The thing I keep butting my head against over and over is how little control I have over all the things I want to control. It just doesn't work that way - trying to pray for grace and accept that crazy is where life is at right now and all I can control is how I respond to it.

#6 Let stupid little things make you happy. 

I have never, ever been able to make a decent train track. But I made one and it was awesome. At first it was a couple endless loops but then Baby Girl and I modified it and it was really quite delightful. We played A LOT of trains while DH and The Boy were at the father-son campout - OK, we didn't really do anything else. Something that's been really frustrating to me lately is how I cannot seem to find or make time for anything beyond the bare essentials, and even then, sometimes the bare essentials are getting the lick-and-a-promise treatment. I'm jealous of people who can set their life goals and create time for meaning (prayer, fitness, connection with others, etc.), while still carrying through on what needs to be done in routine life. I am not succeeding at this but am really, really trying to be grateful for the small things when they do happen and finding my joy in serving and giving right now.

#7 Go to the library and read books.

This is "new book day" at our house - piles of books dumped all over the floor and quiet children. If going to the library wasn't such a chaotic event, we would do it every day, I swear.

#8 Be that meany.

I forced my child to do something he said he did. not. want. to. do. Ever. I made him read a particular book. And he loved it. So much that we didn't hear from him for 24 hours. Sometimes things are just good for your darn kids and they have to do it. 

#9 Be that meany to yourself.

I ******* my way through making a dozen freezer meals prior to the beginning of the school year. The kids have hit some wacky wild growth spurts and have been eating HUGE amounts of food, and with the food restrictions I have, fast/easy meal prep can be difficult at times. So we took three evenings while DH was gone and made three separate meals x four for the freezer. I didn't want to do it and complained the whole time, but now I am immensely happy to have a freezer full of food that I can pull when the week looks overwhelming. Even having just one meal that is ready to go makes such a difference. When I do this again (I will force myself to and whine about it the whole time) I need to pick easier recipes if possible and set up a better assembly line, but it did work.

#10 Celebrate small successes/it doesn't have to be perfect.

Have I mentioned (just a bazillion times) how much I hate science curricula and haven't found one I can tolerate? Well, I still don't care for the one I spent hours researching and ended up buying, but somebody else likes it! We have gone from "Do we haaaave to do science?" to "When can we do science?". We did about half of the project above and filled out one sentence for the whole writing project. But he understands the concept and had fun while at it. I'll take it. 

U2 Knows Parents

They've been around for pretty much my whole life, and goodness can they read my mind when it comes to daily life.

U2, thank you for being there.

Every day, all day (but especially when facing a freezer, cupboard, or closet): "And I still haven't found what I'm looking for"... See also, being short and trying to get things out of the cupboard: "You can reach but you can't grab it" (Discotheque)

Whiny 2 year old: "I want to be with you / Be with you night and day" (New Year's Day)

Getting ready to go outside: "Get on your boots!"

Trying to find a rummage sale. Also, delivering Meals on Wheels: "Where the streets have no name"

Going out to eat with children: "Everybody needs to cry or needs to spit", followed closely by, 

 

Me most days, trying to behave: "Every sweet tooth needs just a little hit" (I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight)

Shopping for children with growing feet: "Take these shoes / And make them fit" (Yahweh)

Putting toddlers to bed: "How long / How long must we sing this song" (Sunday, Bloody Sunday)

Summer!

We're having a great summer. Sure is flying by, and the best thing is that we haven't "done" a lot. Minimal activities, plenty of outdoor time, family time, and book time. Life is life and certainly not picture perfect ("I solemnly vow today to yell less"), but it's summer and we are so grateful for many, many blessings.

 Picnic on the deck with my sweet girl. (She's eating "roo-posh" sauce [AKA rhubarb] - her absolute favorite)

 Buh-bye old wallpaper in the kitchen. Replaced with a coat of paint for now. Tile backsplash later.

We took our family trip this year to the Black Hills region of SD and WY. No one got much sleep and Baby Girl had a lot of running to do, but we saw a lot and are really excited for all the things we got to see and do!

The Boy's first county fair as a 4-Her. He showed 5 things and did very well! Baking Great-Grandma K's cookie recipe - netted him a Reserve Champion.

 Cookie in a jar with a nice purple ribbon

 Went to a local "Museum Alive" event and got some 5 cent beer at the bar. Correction - near beer. (He hated it!)

 Fun times at the spray park

 We've had rain. A LOT of rain. Too much rain. Might as well play in it.

 Street flooding (The Boy was operating the camera).

Extreme Weight Loss

Not bragging or anything, but in the past 24 hours I dropped 12 inches and 10 pounds, just like that. No sweat, no changed diet...

12 inches and 10 pounds of paper. A box of paper to shred, a pile of paper to recycle, and a pile of scratch paper (should last a year, at 3 inches). I figured making all this electronic would take FOREVER but Hubby got a fancy new scanner for work (talk about paper at his job...) and set it up for me at home for the day.

What's gone: student evaluation forms for 3 years, my own papers and notes from (oh man) 4-12 years ago (I had forgotten I even had these things, they were buried in binders in my office). The Boy's extra work for the past four grades, notes from every conference I've attended in the past 15 years, and a whole lot of paper I thought I should save "in case I need it someday". None of this counts the 6 inches of old student work that I *gifted* our department admin assistant. I'm embarrassed at how quickly it all piled up, and honestly am feeling like I did lose all that weight off my body.

Thanks to work for making me move my office AGAIN (seriously, they move me every 12-18 months) and I just got sick and tired of loading up the binders ONE more time. The Boy's school stuff is now a lovely folder of files in my computer and a manageable filing box of completed books and things that won't easily scan. Since my new office is shared space with 20 other people, everything except a few necessities came home and became a home office, and all my books and artifacts fit on ONE short bookshelf. Booyah. (Although, sniff, I am keeping all the poor rejected books from our health sciences library which has become a "library of the future" - no print materials whatsoever. What gives, people, sometimes you need a BOOK.)

My holdout old books finally got the boot. Oh, Cox et al., I spent months of my life between your pages. But you are hopelessly outdated, even if you are SOOOO much better than all the new care plan books. But you must go now. Sorry.

But seriously, paperless society, and ALL this paper? It's ridiculous.

Winter Photos

We stayed busy with school and work this winter, but managed to do some activities as well.

One of the biggest events was The Boy's reception of the Sacraments! Congratulations, my big boy! He worked very hard to prepare through a lot of reading, study, and prayer. It was exciting to see all these things percolate in his mind and heart, and come back out in excitement to receive Jesus' physical presence and the fullness of the Holy Spirit. Since then he has been learning how to serve at Mass. No photos from me - Hubby posted a whole bunch elsewhere.

 Obsessed with Star Wars. They haven't seen the new one (will wait just a little while...). But that doesn't stop a whole lot of good pretending.

 First stomach flu. Yuck. She bounced back quickly, though, and still had a smile on her face while recovering. Sticker books helped.

 Playing at the park during the early spring. 

Not much snow, but still cold enough for hats and mittens!

 Having a Moorish feast. Dates, bananas, bread, and chicken legs. And a whole bunch of Moorish music on YouTube. It's been helpful to do some concrete activities for History and Science especially, and it helps break up the day a little to get away from the books for awhile.

Piano playing for home school Learning Fair.

Making a lamp for electricity project for 4-H.

Playing Settlers of Catan. Distracted poor Daddy so badly that The Boy won.

"Making a picnic" with Little People. Finally getting over the hump of distracting The Boy so much during school. She wants to do her own school now, and is getting a longer attention span (Yay!).

Easter basket bling. The leopard print vest was for "dress up" from Nana, but quickly became a permanent staple in the wardrobe. Looks pretty snappy with cow print pajamas.

Piggy-back rides with Big Brother

The Sage Studied, 2015-2016

For those who enjoy being bored, here's the recap of this past year's curriculum*.

Classically Catholic Memorization - Beta Year

Same opinion as last year - this is a great all-around supplement to a (mainly) classical home school curriculum. Is it just me, or is beta year so much easier than alpha year? Maybe The Boy is just a year older and more used to the memorization process, but the content did feel more natural. He did quite a bit of the "extra credit" this year and I know it will pay off in coming years. 

Religion/Catechism

We basically spent the entire year preparing for Confirmation and First Eucharist (re-ordered Sacraments in our diocese). I was so worried we would skim over Confirmation content that we spent a lot of time on that and *almost* forgot about Eucharist... oops. The bulk of our formal learning was with the "Tell Me About the Catholic Faith" published by Ignatius and Magnificat. I LOVE THIS BOOK. It is very well-written. It brought up several advanced topics but in balanced, age-appropriate ways, two examples being 1) the Protestant Reformation and 2) atheism/agnosticism. Sections included 1) Bible history, 2) history of the Catholic Church, and 3) life of faith (Sacraments, Prayer, devotions).

Other books used: St. Joseph Catechism, First Communion and Confirmation books from our parish, sacrament guidance books from our diocese, and Fr. Lovasik books (Receiving Holy Communion, the Seven Sacraments, the Holy Spirit, Gifts of the Holy Spirit, etc.). We have continued to read from his children's Bible, but he has been doing more independent Bible reading with 1) The Action Bible (cartoon style, which makes it attractive to kids) and 2) The Picture Bible (Iva Hoth) (less cartoon-y and more complete, but still child-friendly). 

A big shout-out to Holy Heroes for their FREEEEEEE Advent and Lenten Adventures, Mass prep videos and quizzes, and audio CDs (these are not free, but they are really good and worth the $).

Helpful projects: liturgical calendar from Catholic Icing, a patron saint research project/lapbook to help prepare for Confirmation. His coop teacher helped the kids make a gifts and fruits of the Holy Spirit booklet - so neat! 

Math

Right Start Math Level D. I supplemented with Khan Academy videos and practice for certain concepts as it was going too quickly for him in places. We love wrap-ups for drilling math facts - Hubby found good deals for these on E-bay.

Language Arts

This felt scattered and I am hoping to find a more comprehensive curriculum for language arts, rather than doing pieces from this book and that. It's worked up to this point, but a place pinpointed for some R & D this summer.

Spelling: SpellWell (same authors/publisher as Explode the Code) - a friendly, fun spelling program that doesn't TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE (you know who you are, you spelling programs...). Made a big difference for him - really liked the option to replace easy words with harder ones if he did well on the pre-test.

Phonics: Explode the Code - did Book 7 and started 8. Good reinforcement of concepts and basic spelling/reading rules. He likes the format and I like the independent learning aspects. Extra activities in the teacher's manual are do-able and don't require bunches of additional time/supplies.

Grammar: Well-Trained Mind Book 1 by Jessie Wise - this is intended for 1st or 2nd grade, but since we have not done much with grammar up to this point, the level was mostly appropriate, especially if I tailored the Enrichment Activities to a slightly higher level. We need something more advanced for this year, but this was a good starting point.

Cursive/Handwriting: Handwriting Without Tears, Kick-Start Cursive, and Cursive manual. I don't care if people type everything these days, being able to write legibly is still important in my book. HWOT de-slants and de-loops several cursive letters, so it's a fairly easy system, both for writing and reading. His cursive is actually MUCH better than his printing. I hardly used the teacher's manual and found it a waste of money. Just doing a page a day was sufficient, but I suppose if you are one of those awesome creative people, go for it!

Typing: Typing Instructor for Kids. He complained about this A LOT because it was SO HARD but eventually he got the hang of it and now it's fun. Lots of games and can set own goals for WPM and accuracy. As a reward for conquering the castle (passing all the lessons/challenges), we got him a personal e-mail address through ZooBuh. This should also help with beginning computer etiquette and skills. I realize I'm behind the times on this, but hey, we can't all be perfect.

Science

Why, why, why do I still struggle with this? I simply cannot find a science curriculum that fits. Too much Big Bang, too much Young Earth, too much "this book will give you ADHD by putting pictures and graphs ALL OVER THE PLACE", too much "do this experiment that will take all week to collect supplies so you can see something change color for 20 seconds". So, we have continued on with unit studies. I was hoping to do 4 (one each quarter), but we squeaked in 3. We replaced most of our school activities for the entire week with the unit and appropriate reading and writing activities. Thank goodness for a great library and a lot of free web resources - but it did take time to collect what I needed, which is why we didn't get as many units done as would have liked. And this kid definitely prefers life sciences to physical/earth science, so we do have some work to do in the future. I did purchase the entire Magic School Bus set of DVDs ($40 on Amazon), and this has been a simple way to introduce topics.

Units:

1) Human Body/First Aid - books, First Aid basics, butcher paper human body and organ systems, blood model (jello plasma, red-hot RBCs, lentil platelets, etc.), stomach smoothies, researched/purchased/assembled First Aid kit for our house, spray foam brain hat... Got a lot of ideas from Pinterest for this unit.

2) Oceans and Coral Reefs - The Boy took the lead on activities for this one and basically independently assembled a complete ocean diorama. It's really cool... BBC Oceans DVD series - very neat. 

3) Deserts, Desert Animals, Cacti - books, Desert DVD series, found a free lapbook on Desert Animals on a home school website. For writing activities I found some funny photos of desert animals and other random desert things and had him write a paragraph about what was happening - he came up with some really cute things. He also made a travel brochure advertising desert travel (what will you do? what will you see?) and enjoyed that project.

Social Studies

History: Story of the World by Susan Wise Bauer - completed Book 1 and got about half through Book 2. History is still his favorite subject, and learning about barbarians, Vikings, and Franks was that much more exciting this year. Supplemented with Bethlehem Books as read-alongs, but thanks to the Little Sister, our reading time has become more fragmented. 

Geography: Our Father's World from Rod and Staff. It's old and Mennonite, but does a good job of discussing basics - continents, oceans, landforms, waterforms, basic nomenclature. He's not crazy about it but likes the map work. 

States/Capitols: I spent $1.99 on Stack the States app and he memorized them all in no time flat. 

Life skills: 4-H - it's awesome. Gave a demonstration on how to sand wood, did some public speaking at the Communication Arts event, working on fair exhibits, learning about parliamentary procedure at monthly meetings, service opportunities, cooking classes, more cooking/baking at home, etc. 4-H is the bomb. 

Music/Art

Piano lessons, music Festival, recitals. Attended a Massenet opera (shout-out to our local university's music department - ya'll are amazing). Starting on more note-reading and theory. We did a listening log last year and wanted to this year, but it slipped through the cracks... 

Nothing formal for art. Another crack-slipper. He is constantly drawing/sketching, but feel like we need to find a way to develop this talent a little more... Another area for R & D.

*All unsponsored opinions that are completely my own.

After the Long Winter

Winter was warm and short - no snow around here since March, and a few summery days in April and the first part of this month. I keep wondering why the trees aren't all leafed out yet, since it's been warm so long, but keep forgetting it's only early May. Funny how El Nino can change one's perceptions of time and seasons.

But winter was long nonetheless and we are happy it's done! Our last day of home school was yesterday - woot woot!!!!! I completed all my final grade rosters early Monday. Hubby is done with taxes, annual church fundraiser, and this last round of quarterlies. So winter is now truly over - we all feel like we are finally taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. Everything went fairly well for the semester and Hubby's tax season - minor bumps, really, compared to the road blocks which could occur. But with the addition of a few things that naturally accompany having growing kids/a personal business/university happenings, we felt maxed out.

My house is the best example of this - so many things are tucked into corners, with the promise of "I'll deal with this in May"... Now that the daily to-do list has shrunk dramatically, it's time to get going on all the lick-and-a-promise items. But where to start? I do consider myself an organized person (organization trumps creativity, in my book, any day... oh Lord I'm so boring... but hey, boring comes before clever in alphabetical order, so there). But I've missed out on some organization habits, one of the most glaring being better categorizing The Boy's school. I have kept thorough records of his work and daily lesson plans, but to the extent that I have everything rather than a slimmed down portfolio of sample work, resources used, and evidence of achievement, as is required. So yesterday and today I've been creating a better paper trail and putting it into a better filing system. It's been soothing my hidden librarian side as well as a bit of therapy. He did actually learn a bit these past years - and I have the papers to prove it! We are no strangers to the typical spring school slow-down faced by all young families ("Are we done YET?????") and I confess I've spent too much time muttering to myself, "Why do we do this? What is the point of this home school thing?". So, to see an entire year in print and the results of that learning, is satisfying and refilling my drive to do this all over again next year.

Next year... trying not to start thinking too far ahead about all the details. The peril of sticking to a fairly regimented routine is the susceptibility to lose the vision and the dream. I'm jealous of people who have the capability to dream, to look months and years ahead to where they and their families want to be. I get stuck in the variables and what-if's. How does one become a dreamer? Is it something one practices, or just out of luck if one doesn't have the knack? Laugh - maybe I can frame some SMART goals and call them a dream. "I have a, *ahem*, SMART goal!" Making history, right there - take note.

Circling, Part 2

My life is a knitting pattern - around and around, same pattern, repeat for a zillion rows. I'm really quite comfortable with it - predictability and all that. But occasionally I wonder if I'm supposed to feel stuck in a loop.

Establishing routines and recurring schedules has been key to successfully (*cough*) managing work and homeschool. Library visit to restock school resources and satisfy The Boy's voracious reading appetite? Every other Monday. What's for dinner each day of the week: every Sunday afternoon. Better make sure you get your favorite jeans in the laundry basket tonight because if they don't get washed tomorrow, your next chance isn't until Friday.

This formulaic approach applies not only to household tasks, but also to our schooling and my work. It makes life functional, but is there something we are missing? I'm feeling stuck - on the cusp of needing to change and do things differently... but what and how? It's fairly easy to look back and see where some great leaps in knowledge and abilities have occurred with education, taking on new opportunities, big projects. What's next? I'm hungry for a challenge but a little afraid, too. Far be it from this planner to try something new without having examined every angle. And what if it doesn't work?!? Gasp...

Circling, Part 1

Circling with yarn around and around. With my interchangeable needle set I knit pretty much everything in the round/magic loop or else use my interchangeables as straights. 

Most recent projects (nothing difficult, just some sanity-maintaining Sunday projects):

 Northern Loop scarf

 Hurricane Hat

Staggered Rib scarf for The Boy

Say Cheesy

"OK, Kids, smile for the camera - let's get a nice Christmas photo."

A Feet Feat

My first pair of socks are done! Realize it's not that big an accomplishment, but happy to have learned a new skill. This coming year would like to learn how to do a pair of socks using the magic loop method - we'll see...

Still need to block the socks

Woot woot - wool for cold feet.